Emerging Spirit @ The United Church of Canada Emerging Spirit @ The United Church of Canada

I have been out of touch for the last few weeks as I have tried to make sense of my new congregational ministry situation. I am challenged: challenged not only by the task of remembering myriad names and faces but also by the daunting undertaking of identifying the story that is this people and discerning what part I play in its future unfolding.

The confusion comes from an acute awareness that the story line is complicated and, not only am I not getting the whole plot, I am not sure it`s helpful to know it. Some people have moved to the edge and out; some are creeping back in a cautious attempt to try again; others have jumped in the deep end planning and beginning to write a new (or maybe it`s an old) story line. Overwhelmingly though the majority are not talking directly to me. They mostly listen.

There seems to be two things that they listen for from me.

The first is that they want signs that I like them. I enjoy leading in worship and hanging out with them afterwards. The depth of this sentiment touches me profoundly. I feel like I am watching Sally Fields receive the Oscar, "You like me; you really like me." They listen for acceptance, trying not to yield to the fear of expected judgment.

Secondly they listen for clues about the next chapter in their story. They want to know if they are in a pot boiler, a romance or an intricate character study. They want to get a sense of the plot pace because some are worn out and others have energy for a trek into the unknown. E-mails come from all quarters - the board, Sunday School, worship committee, social groups -urging or suggesting story direction.  They have curiosity about my role - am I the author of the chapter, a minor character, a catalyst, an editor, a subversive element? It's all so subtle as befits a cautious beginning.

Now my questions - what is my role in this next chapter? What are the clues that signal a new movement is part of the congregation's story and not just my own inclinations? How do I enter the story without being either alienating or superficial?

I don`t want to be and am not the author but they do need me to lead. I am not coming with a predetermined "right direction" but have begun to take next steps - maybe more out of instinct and habit than design. The first ‘right' step is to create a worship experience that is inclusive, accepting, filled with praise, respect and truth. If/when the congregation experiences this together, I pray, maybe we will be able to live into the next chapter of our story.