Emerging Spirit @ The United Church of Canada Emerging Spirit @ The United Church of Canada

No, really, it was an Italian restaurant - this is not some obscure Billy Joel reference. I was having dinner in the early evening by myself in a little Italian eatery with some aspirations to "fine dining." The food was fine, nothing spectacular, but the people were a study.

To my right, over by the bar, sat seven professional business men, gathering after work; they drank a lot of beer, ordered most of the menu and carried on in loud, if jovial, manner that made it clear that this was "their place." As much as I enjoyed their laughter, I was also excluded from it. I didn't know the jokes; I didn't get the references and frankly, they were just too loud.

I began to wonder if we don't often do the same thing in our churches. Jovial folk, well meant, but very clearly in charge, in the know, in the in-crowd. Often, it seems that for new comers, there is no room at the "in" (bad pun, but I trust you take my point). As long as this is "your church" it's never really going to feel like "my church."

Over the by the door sat a family: mother, father, young almost teen son, and two daughters, probably 18 and 19 years old. The 18-year-old was dressed to the nines (do we still say that?). A beautiful spaghetti strap summer dress that she was doing her best to wear well, gorgeous red shoes with heels higher than she had ever worn before (judging by the way that she was walking). Her make-up was just so. She had clearly put a lot of effort into looking sophisticated for the evening. As she sat bolt upright in her chair, I could see her struggle and her joy. She was trying so hard to look as good as the restaurant, working so hard at being proper and lady-like (do we still say that?). And she was succeeding. If you watched her intently, as I was doing, you would notice that she was barely breathing and that all of her moves were very intentional, there was no spontaneity allowed. Who knows what might get spilled! By the end of dinner she deserved applause: She put on a great show...she did it. But, I'm willing to bet that she's not going to go back to that restaurant on her own, any time soon. She might go with the family again - but the next time she goes out for dinner, she's going to pick a place where she can be herself.

Again I was set to wondering...how often is the church experience like the dinner experience for that young woman? You dress up, you do all the things that you are "expected" to do, you put spontaneity on hold and you pick up your cutlery from the outside in. At the end you congratulate yourself on putting on such a great show, or for surviving such a great show. When it's all over, you make plans to go somewhere where you can be yourself, without heels, laughing out loud.

On the other side of the door, sat three women, old friends, if I'm any judge. They ate lots of appetizers and shared wine. They laughed at the world, they laughed at themselves. They joked with the waiter. Not unlike my friends by the bar, except that they weren't too loud and they didn't act like they owned the place. They spoke French, but were quick to translate for the waiter or even for each other when one or the other had trouble finding the right word. Even as the different language set them apart from the English-speaking room, they still seemed open and friendly. As the meal went on, they noticed me sitting by myself and invited me to join them. I declined. They were not offended, but charming and friendly. By the end of the meal, I did join them for a glass of wine, and laughed with them, told a story or two and heard a couple of stories as well.

I think that I would call those women, Emerging Diners. Yes, they spoke a language that was theirs, much as we do in our churches, but they translated it; made it accessible and understandable - as I learned a couple of their favourite expressions I felt like I belonged. They spotted me alone and invited me in. They asked for my stories even as they told me theirs. They acted like they were glad to be together for the evening and that adding another to their table - if only for a glass of wine - made the evening that much better. Had I not been late for a wedding rehearsal, I might have stayed longer. I know that I wanted to.

As I left, I began to wonder how our church, could be just as Emerging...even without the wine.