An Ethic of Blessing and Care for Children - Part 1
Posted December 6th, 2008 by Gaye Sharpe
Over the next few weeks, I would like to have a conversation about the ethical values or criteria that the church might adopt when ministering with children and their families. By considering how we want to be in relationship, it may guide what we want to do.
To bless children and to be blessed by them the church is called to be a community that acts and speaks in particular ways. In order to be a community of blessing, the Christian community needs to be marked by:
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1. Radical Hospitality. The call to radical hospitality has two components: Jesus calls his followers to welcome children (obedience of the church to God's call); and by welcoming children, Jesus is welcomed (discernment of God's presence). God's gift of children to the church is so that God may be known. Failing to welcome children implies rejection of Jesus and God. The work of welcoming involves more than a warm smile and a cookie. Welcoming also extends beyond friendliness. A holy welcome (dechomai) involves the radical practice of hospitality which includes providing service, nourishment, safety and inclusion.
2. Prioritizing of Children and their Concerns. The last, the least, the littlest matter the most. These directions of Jesus to the disciples specifically named children. Jesus requires of his disciples, now the church, to make children a priority. (Matthew 18:1-5) Our practice within and without the community of the church must represent a way of being in God's world in which the well-being of the child is of prime importance..
3. Inclusivity. God calls children (and the Whole People of God) into relationship. Relationship means conversation. It involves listening, engagement and nurturing. Relationships require each party to show up and bring themselves with all the complexity, ambiguity, confusion and delight that may entail. Relationships require action. Like adults, children are called into purposeful participation in the divine action in the world. They participate in the church not only to receive education for their future ‘full membership'; they are called to be full participants now in the church and in its mission in the world. Children have the responsibility, power and ability to think theologically, problem solve and act.
4. Evangelism. Sharing the story is not about proselytizing children into the faith; it is not about coercion or other forms of disrespectful communication or behaviour. It is about giving children the opportunity to hear, see and live the Good News that we as Christians find life-giving and transformative. This is consistent with the United Church position on evangelism and Jesus' call not to hide our light under a bushel.
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Comments
Interesting discussion Gaye,
Interesting discussion Gaye, thanks for posting your thoughts. I appreciate the clarity of your four points. As I read them, it seemed to me that although you are speaking of children (as in young humans), your 4 points apply equally well to all children of God, no matter their chronological age. I find myself wondering why, of all the points you raise, the radical hospitality seems to be the most difficult to embrace.
In light of the gospel reading for this sunday (Mark 1) where we are introduced to an outspoken man, clad in animals skins and with the lingering odour of locusts & honey clinging to his breath (and perhaps his beard)... how would radical hospitality apply? If such a person, of any age, were to approach me, how would I respond? I like to think that I would hear his words, and respond to the message, engage the conversation and open the opportunity for learning, repentance of old ways of being/understanding and opening to new.
I believe our children challenge our ways of thinking and being, in much the same way that JB does. And we are all challenged to respond with respect, and with radical open hospitality for the person, and the message.
Paula
The Universal Message Problem
Paula, I take your point yet I also want to urge the church to look specifically at our ministry with children. When we move quickly to the "inclusive" all God's children, we lose sight of this very particular ministry. In the United Church over the last fifteen or so years, our membership has declined something like 29%. The number of children which we minister with, in the same period of time, has declined 53%. If we do not start to address this issue we will have no church. I am not satisfied to make children's ministry a survival issue - though the numbers speak for themselves. I do want to make it a faithfulness issue though.Erwin McManus writes, "Churches all over the country have decided they love their traditions more than their children." Ouch! Often when something hurts though, it's time to seek treatment.
Good point Gaye, and it is
Good point Gaye, and it is very important not to lose sight of this very important ministry. Time perhaps to bring the children out of the basement!
On another note ... we are curently in the process of drafting a proposal for a youth leader position, and also looking to create partnerships for children & youth ministry with some local congregations. I would like to use your four points as our "guiding principles" in our proposal document. May I have your permission to do so?
Paula
Youth Worker
Paula,
As you consider how to undertake your youth ministry try to keep in mind the points Gaye puts forth in her second installment (now online) of this series. Youth work, or children's ministry, is not a special mission project we take on because it is trendy, or urgent. It is part of our call to be a church together. It is integral to community, a part of the whole.
Seeing youth work as part of the community, not a special project, challenges the often used model of hiring a University student from outside the congregation to come in and do 8 hours a week of "youth work." The danger with this model is that it does not intergrate the youth into the existing community, develop faith mentors, and at worst creates a revolving door.
In this time of great transition these young people need to be able to build a trusting, and hopefully long term, relationship with their leader, and ideally the wider congregation. Consider this as you develop your model.
My preferance would be to ask your current staff to find 8 hours/week of work they could off load, give that to someone else, and let them lead the youth. Why should the youth ministry always be the part time add on? What work packages do you consider most important, and most in need of well trained staff? List them, prioritize them, and then go forward. (Yes, you may need a JNAC, but are your youth not worth having their true needs assesed?)